It was around this time last year that I realized I wasn’t dealing with my grief over losing my dad. I found myself getting angry for seemingly no reason, wanting to withdraw more, and feeling tearful pretty regularly. I think one of the most important things we can do for our health is to listen to our bodies and when I noticed I was having these emotional swings I stopped to take a listen to what was going on.
What I realized was going on was “life as usual” and I had a full life of all the daily tasks that make up our day to day patterns. What I didn’t have was any outlet for addressing my grief. I considered if I would do better with one-on-one therapy (which I had gone to several years ago and found immensely helpful) but I came to the conclusion that my primary need was to take time for my grief.
Anyone else out there have a hard time fitting things in your schedule if you don’t actually have an appointment? I realized that since I hadn’t done a very good job working in time for grief thus far (about five months after my dad’s death) I should find a way to work my grief into a regular schedule, like a support group. I decided that if after a while I didn’t feel like the support group was enough I would explore the option of one-on-one therapy.
I started by calling Hospice of Michigan, the team that cared for my dad in his final days. They had a “Grief and the Holidays” seminar coming up that I signed up for. Two days before the event they called to tell me only a couple people had signed up for it so they were canceling the event. I was disappointed.
Thankfully, a few days later my husband was at an Ann Arbor Chamber of Commerce event and he struck up a conversation with a person involved in Arbor Hospice. She told him that their grief groups were open to anyone, regardless if they had used their services. I checked out their upcoming events on-line and attended their “Holidays and Grief” seminar (which they had about 12 people at).
After that I registered for an eight week support group for adults who had lost a parent. It was one of the best choices in my life. I did need to commit to the eight weeks and hold that time in my schedule. It wasn’t always pleasant to relive some of the experiences of losing my dad or hearing stories of how my group members had experienced their own losses, but it was incredibly helpful in promoting my healing process and giving me time and space to acknowledge my loss.
So now I encourage you, if you are feeling unusually emotional or “off”, explore those feelings further; see what is at their root. Ask for help from professionals and take the time to work through your challenges. I believe that when we have emotions going through out body they influence our physical health. Feeling happy releases endorphins and things that support our immune system, feeling sad or angry (especially over a long period of time) can release toxins or cause other physical challenges which may not appear immediately but may cause problems in time.
From what I understand almost all hospice organizations offer grief counseling and support groups whether that family used their services or not. Take good care of yourself.
Donna Copeland is an Independent Shaklee Distributor who used the Shaklee supplements to help her stay healthy during her grieving process. You can find more information at: www.DonnaCopeland.MyShaklee.com. Donna is compensated by Shaklee when people purchase products through her or her website.
